Trump Withdraws Sessions Nomination

At his confirmation hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee today, Jeff Sessions, Alabama’s junior senator and majorbig Trump loyalist said that he views waterboarding as illegal and that he is opposed to a total ban on Muslims entering the United States, despite the fact that the soon-to-be 45th president campaigned otherwise as he fanned the flames of nativism, sexism, racial bigotry, American exceptionalism, and other political sins too numerous to mention.


Moments ago, Trump acolyte and son-in-law Jared Kushner told associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones that Trump has withdrawn his nomination of Sessions to succeed Attorney General Loretta Lynch. 


Advised by underground media that Trump had thrown him under the bus, Sessions let out a rebel yell, crying, “The South Will Rise Again!"


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