Trump Revives His Bankrupt University With Major Lift from Putin

Yesterday, Russian Dictator Vladimir Putin offered an olive branch to the incoming Trump Dictator. After President Obama expelled 35 Russian diplomats, Putin said that he would not expel any American diplomats in retaliation, even though, in a purely farcical move, Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov had already recommended that 35 of our American diplomats be expelled, tit for tat. Putin even invited American diplomats and their families to attend New Year’s Eve celebrations in the Kremlin. 


As the whole world already knows (but Putin, Mr. Denial, continues to deny), earlier this year, Putin hacked into the computers of the Democratic National Committee and the emails of Hillary Clinton’s Campaign Chairman, John Podesta.


Even though Putin says that he will not expel any of our people, he nevertheless did, just today, shutter the Англо-американская школа Москва́ (Anglo-American School of Moscow) in retaliation for Obama’s mild sanctions.


As associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones stood by in RNC headquarters in Trumpites Tower, Trump told Putin, “You and I are gonna be such a great team. Not only will I let you keep Crimea, you can have all of Ukraine.” 


“Sounds good to me,” Putin said. “That’s a good start, as long as I get all of Syria and Lebanon as well."


“Fantastic, just let Mad Dog Mattis strangle al-Baghdadi personally, so I can get full credit for obliterating ISIS.” 


“And since you just closed the Anglo-American School of Moscow, let me reopen it under my name and I will make it part of Trump University, just to show everybody and their brother that my University is alive and well.”


Putin smiled and told his lapdog, Lavrov, to give Trump whatever he wants, including Cuba.


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