Trump Taps Son-in-law As Chief of Staff

The man who constantly touts his own brilliance as a developer and an entrepreneur, building casinos wherever they are not needed, simply could not make up his mind on who is going to be his Chief of Staff (read: Chief Servant) in the White House.

 

Will former Breitbart News CEO Stephen Bannon, who is now his Campaign Chairman, be Trump’s Chief of Staff? Breitbart is a major player in the Alt-Right, which really likes to tear our constitutional principles apart. Putting Bannon in there would satisfy to a minor extent Trump’s millions of followers who approve of Trump’s racist rants.

 

Or former Big Apple Mayor Giuliani, one of Trump’s chief sycophants? But surely, Rudy wants to be Attorney General.

 

How about his Campaign Manager, Kellyanne Conway, the veteran Republican pollster, who correctly foresaw that all the polls that heavily favored Hillary Clinton were way off because of voters who wouldn’t admit they were planning to vote for Trump?

 

FBI Director James Comey, who dreads any Congressional investigations into how he gave the election to Trump? Oh, we forgot, the Dems lost the Senate.

 

What about RNC Chairman Reince Priebus, who managed to dodge lots of bullets during the incendiary campaign by slavishly standing by his man?

 

Or Corey Lewandowski, whom Trump fired as his campaign manager in June. Lewandowski, one of the worst CNN commentators ever, resigned from CNN yesterday.

 

Finally, the President-elect chose his son-in-law, Jared Kushner. “He’s the only one Mr. Trump trusts,” spokeswoman Hope Hicks told associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones.

 

“Jared is superbly qualified to run the White House,” Hicks explained, “because he doesn’t know the first thing about government.”

 

Meanwhile, the Democratic National Committee chose Congressman Keith Ellison of Minnesota, one of the few Muslim Members of Congress, to replace Interim DNC Chair Donna Brazile. “We did it to piss off Trump,” an anonymous DNC member said.

 

In other news, Trump told New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, the man he just threw under the bus as his transition planner, that in January he will find a job for the burly governor on an asphalt paving crew outside Trump Tower, but only if he is physically capable.

 

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