Bedeviled by a continuing sex scandal, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, needing a break from all the negative publicity surrounding him, made an overnight trip on Wednesday to Bangkok. Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones, in considerable trepidation lest he grab her private parts, accompanied Mr. Trump on the trip.
“I know more about what is going on in the world today than anybody,” Trump explained to Jones. “And when I learned that Crown Prince Maha Vajiralongkorn, who’s gonna succeed his father on the throne, is unpopular, I knew that I needed to make a quick trip here before I wrap up my campaign with an overwhelming win.”
“Not only that,” Trump continued, “Bangkok has a lot of beautiful women, and I have a date with Chalita Suansane, who won the Miss Thailand Universe contest this year.”
“Chalita was crowned earlier this year by last year’s winner of the Miss Thailand Universe Contest, Aniporn Chalermburanawong. Aniporn is meeting me at the airport.”
Jones, hot on the trail, followed Trump to his Trump International Casino in central Bangkok and, sure enough, just as he did in 2005 while working for NBC, he boldly approached both Suansane and Chalermburanawong, displaying all his charms.
The following morning, Trump arrived via Trump International Airlines at Klai Kangwon Palace, 240 miles south of Bangkok on the Malay Peninsula in Prachuap Khiri Khan Province, where he was received by the Crown Prince.
“Maha, I like your pristine Lama Sala Beach, so I’m gonna put one of my casino resorts there.”
“And I like the laws you have here in Thailand, where anybody who disses the king gets locked up.”
Sotto voce, the Crown Prince told several of his palace guards to make sure that no one is to be allowed anywhere near Trump’s casino resort in Bangkok.
Back in Trump Tower, The Trump Organization sued Time Magazine over its cover of Mr. Trump, in which he is portrayed as a total flat out loser.