Trump Dispatches Top Genovese Crime Family Consigliere to Take Care of Ryan; Bannon Hires Billy Bush to Improve The Donald's Image with Women

RNC HEADQUARTERS, TRUMP TOWER — Shortly after House Speaker Paul Ryan conceded the presidential election to Hillary Clinton by telling his House Republican Caucus to distance themselves from Donald Trump and concentrate only on getting themselves reelected, Trump, in retaliation, immediately sent his chief thug, former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, to the favorite hangout of Genovese Mafia consigliere Dominick “Quiet Dom” Cirillo. Associate solitary reporter Johanna Jones stood next to Trump as he dispatched Lewandowski to Cirillo.


The Donald’s previous ties to La Cosa Nostra have been well documented by David Cay Johnson ( How else did Trump Plaza get built?


Being a very savvy guy, Ryan requested special protection from the FBI. FBI Director James Comey promptly provided it.


Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, is busy compiling lists of GOP Members of Congress who have easily documentable histories of sexual dalliances. A new Trump campaign ad running on Breitbart

News — a website that is effectively the media arm of the Trump

campaign — ominously announces: “It’s us against the world."


As of press time, Ryan is safe in an undisclosed location — quite possibly in a small house occupied years ago by your solitary reporter in the Capitol Hill neighborhood of the District of Columbia.


Moments go, associate solitary reporter Jeanne Smith called us to let us know that Trump campaign CEO Stephen Bannon just announced that the Trump campaign has hired Billy Bush (a cousin of Bush Two) — who just the other day was fired from his position on The Today Show — to improve his image with women. Yup, it was Billy Bush who, in that 2005 video which has now gone viral, was recorded in a lewd conversation with The Donald.



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