Desperate DNC Chair Begs Michelle To Run

After FBI Director James Comey lambasted Hillary Clinton last week for being "extremely careless" in her use of a private server while conducting foreign policy as Secretary of State, one of her principal

allies — and no friend of Bernie Sanders — DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz appeared surreptitiously in FLOTUS Michelle Obama’s organic garden, saying, “Mam’, your Party needs you. We want you to run for president.” A solitary reporter was hiding behind a rose bush and overheard their conversation.

 

“Remember how Hubert Humphrey got the nomination in 1968 without ever entering a primary? You could do the same thing!”

 

Mrs. Obama’s response was swift and very decisive.

 

Congresswoman Wassermann Schultz snuck out of the garden and went back to her office at the DNC, feeling anxious about Comey’s comments and the never-ending election cycle.

 

At her office, associate solitary reporter Larry Theis suggested that she propose a constitutional amendment to do two things:

 

First, overrule Citizens United.

 

Second, shorten the election season, more or less how the Brits and other parliamentary democracies do it.

 

Wassermann Schultz curtly told Theis to quite bothering her and to go back to Denver where he belongs so she can concentrate on defeating her Bernie-supported primary opponent, Tim Canova. The primary will be held on August 30.

 

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