ATLANTIC CITY — Yesterday, a solitary reporter accompanied Politico reporter Amy Rosenberg and Atlantic City Councilman Moisse “Mo” Delgado as they walked briskly along the famed Boardwalk. The Councilman was explaining to Rosenberg how mega-billionaire Donald Trump and Garden State Gov. Chris Christie have destroyed the former seaside resort, http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2016/05/trump-christie-atlantic-city-213928.
Along came famed cosmologist Stephen Hawking in his specially designed wheelchair. Hawking, a mathematical genius, recently called Trump “a demagogue who seems to appeal to the lowest common denominator.”
As soon as he saw the severely disabled Hawking, Trump (who is notorious for disrespecting disabled people), with an assist from the burly Christie, picked up Hawking and threw him into the ocean.
When he heard about this from the BBC, Prime Minister David Cameron called President Obama, who immediately emailed Attorney General Loretta Lynch. Lynch pulled the 200 FBI agents who were feverishly working on Hillary’s emails off that unnecessary task and told them to go get the two bad actors. Cameron sent the Royal Marines in specially equipped helicopters to rescue Hawking, who is recuperating nicely at the Royal Cornwell Hospital in Truro.
With Trump and Christie in shackles, Lynch lectured them for several hours and finished by telling the undynamic duo to man up before their arraignment this morning at the Martin Luther King, Jr. US Courthouse in Newark. In addition to being charged with reckless endangerment of our political system, they face charges of attempted murder.