Trump To Name Starr As His Attorney General

TRUMP TOWER – It’s all about sex.


Kenneth Starr, ousted from the presidency of Baylor because too many of its football players have committed sexual assault on campus, met here earlier today with presumptuous GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump. A solitary reporter was present during their meeting and had a very difficult time remaining silent.


Trump knew that Starr wanted a high profile job in the Trump Administration. And Starr didn’t want to stay at Baylor even though he remains there as its Chancellor.


In 1990, Starr had desperately wanted Bush One to appoint him to the Supreme Court to fill the vacancy created by the retirement of Justice William Brennan, but David Souter, the “stealth candidate” at the time, received the nod instead.


As Starr entered Trump’s palatial suite, he couldn’t quite decide whether he would ask Trump to appoint him to the Supreme Court, or whether he wanted the job of Attorney General, where he could prosecute anybody he wants to.


So he laid his cards on the table, saying “Mr. Trump, Sir, I  am a far better ideological conservative than you are, and I can do a really good job for conservative causes on the Supreme Court because that's a lifetime appointment. So that’s the job that you should appoint me to.”


“No no no,”  Trump said. “I’m gonna make you my Attorney General. You’re gonna reprosecute Bill Clinton for having a big time sex life, and you’re gonna prosecute Hillary for the murder of Ambassador Chris Stevens in Benghazi.”


Starr immediately accepted.


Trump’s spokesperson, Hope Hicks, said that Mr. Trump will announce the rest of his cabinet picks before June 7, when Hillary wraps up the Democratic nomination.


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