McKEES ROCKS, PENNSYLVANIA – Although the mainstream media has conspicuously gathered in the Buckeye State’s capital for Ohio Gov. John Kasich’s announcement this afternoon that he is conceding the Republican race for president to big time casino builder Donald Trump, a solitary reporter caught up with him in the town of his birth, right here in McKees Rocks, near Pittsburgh. McKees Rocks boasts a population of 6,104.
Kasich, a Czech-Croatian American, formerly a Catholic and now an Anglican, was born close to an area of McKees Rocks known as The Bottoms.
Today, he acknowledged that he has hit rock bottom.
“SR, I was the last one standing,” he explained. “Now I’m going back to my beloved Ohio to continue my righteous persecution of Planned Parenthood.”
“And while I’m at it, I’m gonna keep breaking the back of organized labor in the schools."