Elway Taps Rubio To Replace Manning

DENVER — As Sen. Marco Rubio (TP-Florida) begins to fade into political obscurity, he is beginning to reconsider his options, since he is not running for reelection to the Senate after he loses the Republican nomination for president.


Recently, he has been spending a lot of time campaigning in his home state of Florida, which he will lose on Tuesday to the wild-ass billionaire from Manhattan and the Christian ayatollah from Texas.


So it’s no wonder that earlier today, under the cloak of darkness, a solitary reporter spotted Rubio entering the Denver Broncos’ training camp in Dove Valley, south of Denver. Rubio was meeting with the Broncos’ General Manager, John Elway.


As the solitary reporter waited impatiently, Elway and Rubio eventually emerged, with Elway announcing that the boyish Rubio will be the Broncos’ new quarterback.


Elway’s announcement followed yesterday’s news that the Broncs’ number two quarterback, Brock Osweiler, 5-2 on the season after filling in for Peyton Manning back in November, has deserted the Broncos for the Houston Texans.


“Peyton is 40 this month,” Elway explained, “and Osweiler doesn’t want to live in Denver. Peyton only got better the longer he was here. Marco is 44, and he will be out of a job in January. He’ll be dropping out of the race on Wednesday after he loses to the Manhattan badass billionaire and the Tea Party jerk from Texas in the Sunshine State. Marco looks a lot younger now than Peyton did when he started out eighteen years ago in the NFL." 


Marco will lose in Florida on Tuesday to the megalomaniac who lives in his own tower in Manhattan; he likes to refer to Marco as “Little Marco.” A short time ago, in Miami on the debate stage, the megalomaniac boasted about how many angry people (who are well prepared to vote against their own interests) love him and will sweep him into office against Hillary. But then Trevor Noah, on his The Daily Show, pointed out that it was only in 2013 that the megalomaniac/narcissist from Manhattan was referring to the dispossessed who live on streets as morons.


While watching the CNN debate this evening, Elway told Joe Ellis, the Broncos’ CEO, “Marco may be little all right, but I love his fighting spirit. He's my new quarterback.”


Elway and Ellis then celebrated by opening and guzzling a case of Coors Light.


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