How Long Can Jeb! Stay Alive?

In yesterday’s post, we mentioned that South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley had not endorsed any of her Republican colleagues in Saturday’s South Carolina Republican presidential primary, except she had previously made it very clear that she does not like Donald Trump.


Yesterday, shortly after she read online in this satirical newspaper that she had not endorsed anybody, Haley endorsed Sen. Marco Rubio (TP-Florida), much to the distress of Jeb!, unTrustworthy Ted, John Kasich, and Ben Carson who, like Haley, is a person of color.


At 44, Haley (born Nimrata Nikki Randhawa of Sikh parents from the Punjab) is a rising star in the Republican Party. She is very likely to be a Republican presidential candidate's president for Veep, some day.


Jeb is fighting for his political life in the final days of this primary battle. He is hoping that his brother, Bush Two, and his mother, Barbara, both of whom are campaigning on his behalf in this super-conservative state, will carry the day for him.


Sen. Ted Cruz (TP-Texas) is now the first choice of twenty-eight percent of Republican primary voters surveyed between Thursday and Tuesday, in the first national poll conducted entirely following the most recent debate in South Carolina ( And there are a whole lot of evangelicals in South Carolina; evangelicals who are less angry than Trump are more likely to vote for Cruz, a fervent Baptist, than for The Donald, who has no foreign policy chops whatsoever, and is not even sure whether he is a Presbyterian even though he claims that he is.


Oddsmakers in Las Vegas say that Jeb! will place fourth in South Carolina – after Trump (or Cruz) and Marco Rubio, and will have to drop out to please RNC Chairman Reince Priebus, Mitch McConnell, and the rest of the Republican establishment, all of whom are scared to death that if either Trump or Cruz is nominated in July in Cleveland, either Bernie or Hillary will end up in the White House.


Moments ago, a solitary reporter climbed over one of the numerous security fences surrounding the White House, and somehow managed to catch the ear of White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest. The solitary reporter asked Earnest whether President Obama will be nominating Attorney General Loretta Lynch to succeed the late Justice Antonin Scalia. Earnest demurred, although he did whisper into the solitary reporter’s ear that Clarence Thomas (who was nominated by Bush One and was confirmed by the Senate in 1991 by the narrowest of margins, 52-48) was well known for frequently agreeing with Justice Scalia. The solitary reporter then asked Earnest whether the President – who will visit the Supreme Court on Friday to pay his respects to Scalia, but will not be attending Scalia’s Mass of Christian Burial on Saturday — will be campaigning for Hillary Clinton in South Carolina. Again, Earnest demurred.


The odds favor the solitary reporter staying in South Carolina until the early hours of Sunday morning. 


Meanwhile, in Cupertino, Apple CEO Tim Cook told our associate solitary reporter, Jim Smith, that he has no plans to take his highly encrypted iPhone6S to China, lest the Chinese figure out how to open it.


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