PYONGYANG — North Korea’s boy dictator, Kim Jong-un, has just executed his top military official, General Ri Yong-gil, the Chief of the North Korean Army’s General Staff.
Given that machoism is the predominant methodology of Donald Trump and many other GOP presidential candidates, it should come as no surprise that, having executed three powerful North Korean officials, including his own uncle, the stage is now set for the boy dictator to go after his biggest prize yet.
Kim is still pissed off about The Interview, the James Franco and Seth Rogen movie in which that dynamic duo manage to get Kim killed in a fiery helicopter crash. Kim now wants to go after the most hateful, disgusting, most politically incorrect presidential candidate on the scene today in the United States.
RNC Chairman Reince Priebus, who always reads this satirical online newspaper, immediately called on President Obama to take out Kim Jong-un.
But White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest responded by saying that President Obama, tutored by a solitary reporter who is fluent in Korean, is studying Korean in preparation for his meeting with Kim.