Denver Man Caves in to East Coast Interests

Sunday’s contest between the New England Patriots and the Denver Broncos, which will determine which team will face the NFC winner in Super Bowl Fifty on February 7, has received a lot of attention from sports pundits at the national level. They uniformly say that in Sunday’s contest at Mile High Stadium, the Patriots will win because the Broncos’ receivers cannot hold onto passes.


All this buzz made for some interesting betting among sports fans in Denver. Secret emissaries from the New England Patriots contacted a solitary reporter, urging him to reconnect with his New England roots, while fervent Broncos supporters reminded him that he has benefited greatly from living in Denver for 43 years.


In the end, the solitary reporter, greatly risking many friendships in Denver, predicted that the Patriots will defeat the Broncos by three points.


Elsewhere, literal gridlock from a huge snowstorm in the Nation’s Capital mirrored the political gridlock there. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told our associate solitary reporter, Lewis Thompson, that the gridlock for which he is primarily responsible is far preferable to the gridlock which will ensue if either Donald Trump or Ted Cruz is elected president.


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