Trump: "Sarah will be my Veep, but she'll have to do exactly what I tell her to"

AMES, IOWA – After successfully courting the big-time evangelical vote (see our post of yesterday), Donald Trump, whom conservatives don’t really trust at all because he has twice registered as a Democrat, is reaching out to the Tea Party big time.


Leave it to Sarah Palin to upstage the junior senator from Texas, who said yesterday that he, Ted Cruz, would never have been elected in 2012 if it hadn’t been for dear Sarah. But yesterday, Sarah endorsed Donald.


However, as recently as last month, Trump picked Rush Limbaugh to be his vice president; not only that, back in September, he announced that he is tapping Carly Fiorina for the same high office (see our posts of December 18, 2015, and September 17, 2015).


On rare occasions, The Donald, when he is not building casinos or signing books or lying through his teeth, condescends to speak to a solitary reporter.


“You see, SR,” Trump explained, “Sarah is a whole lot cuter than Carly – you remember Carly, that really ugly woman from California — who, desperately trying to gain traction, routinely disses me.”


“But Sarah won’t have much to do as my vice president. She will basically be my slave.”


Immediately, Palin’s husband, Todd Palin, decked Trump, saying “I’m the head of the Palin family, and Sarah reports only to me."


Amidst all this GOP lovefest, embattled Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder called Trump and begged him to name him as his Environmental Protection Agency Administrator. 


“I’m gonna have to resign real soon because of this Flint mess,” Snyder explained to our associate solitary reporter, Lewis Thompson. “And when Donald beats Hillary in November, I would be the logical first in line to continue the proud GOP tradition of gutting everything that the EPA tries to do.”




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