The GOP's Plan B

RNC HEADQUARTERS – Senior political correspondent Jeff Greenfield, writing in today’s Politico, says that if Donald Trump wins the Republican nomination for president, Republicans will form a third party to run against him ( After reading Greenfield’s article, a solitary reporter, impersonating newly elected Republican National Committeeman from Colorado George Leing, attended a hush-hush meeting of GOP insiders convened by RNC Chairman Reince Priebus.


"Folks,” Preibus began, “Carson’s even nuttier than Trump, but it really looks like Trump, a true fascist if I ever saw one, is gonna win the nomination. Cruz is way too extreme, and Rubio is too wet behind the ears. If Trump gets the nomination, we lose the Senate and Hillary wins unless we form a third party, the very thing that Jeff Greenfield wrote today.”


“Our only hope is Kasich,” Preibus continued. “Trump is gonna steamroller his way to the nomination, and once he gets it, it’ll be too late. We have to act now.”


Charles and David Koch, joined by casino magnate Sheldon Adelson, strenuously objected and walked out of the room at the earliest opportunity, but everyone else joined ranks behind Priebus, with the solitary reporter remaining silent.


Priebus reached for the phone and called Kasich, reaching the Ohio governor on the campaign trail in New Hampshire. Kasich immediately accepted the secret plan to split from the GOP to stop Trump.


Everyone in the room was sworn to secrecy, as Priebus announced, “In mid-February, we form the Ronald Reagan Good Old Days Party. We'll have to work our butts off against Trump and Hillary, but we’ll put Kasich in there and we’ll save the country from disaster.”

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