Boehner Hands Gavel Back To Pelosi

Paul Ryan is back in Washington, but he still hasn’t decided whether he wants to be Speaker.

Joe Biden is mostly in Washington these days, but he still hasn’t decided whether he wants to challenge Hillary and Bernie.

Shortly after midnight, a mere ten and one half hours ago, growing impatient at Ryan’s indecision, current Speaker (‘til the end of the month) John Boehner reached across the aisle – a tactic universally condemned by the anti-Boehner, anti-McCarthy Freedom Caucus in the House — and  handed Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi the gavel which she had given to him on January 5, 2011, after the GOP won 247 seats in the House, compared to the Dems’ mere 188 seats, in the November 2014 midterm election. A solitary reporter observed the transfer of power.

But Representative Jim Jordan (R-Ohio), the Chairman of the Freedom Caucus, and Representative Daniel Webster (R-Florida), one of twenty-three candidates to succeed Boehner, accosted Boehner on his way back to his office, pummeled him to the ground, and put him a plane back to Cincinnati, with the assistance of Sergeant at Arms Paul Irving.

At his office in the White House, Biden smiled. The 72-year-old Vice President told our associate solitary reporter, Lewis Thompson, that Boehner’s decision to give the Speakership back to Pelosi makes perfect sense, “because John has needed a lot of help from us recently.”   

Pelosi emerged from the clandestine ceremony, having been mildly deprived of her beauty sleep, singing “Happy Days Are Here Again."

Write a comment

Comments: 0