HOW BERNIE SANDERS IS BESTING ALL HIS REPUBLICAN RIVALS IN NORTHERN NEW HAMPSHIRE

ALBANY, NEW HAMPSHIRE — Most of the land area of this northern New Hampshire town of 735 hardy souls consists of Mount Chocorua, the iconic mountain memorialized on the New Hampshire quarter.


Named after a Native American chief, the summit consists of a more or less flat rock on which only 10 people can stand.


However, just the other day, seventeen Republican presidential candidates were there, with a solitary reporter observing closely.


The solitary reporter asked each of them why none of them has a yard sign in northern New Hampshire.


With varying murmurs, each of them said that they were trying to use social media instead of highly visible but old-fashioned methods such as yard signs.


Then the solitary reporter told them that the only yard sign for any presidential candidate that he had seen during his recent visit to New Hampshire was a sign for insurgent candidate Bernie Sanders (I-Vermont).


Immediately, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker proclaimed his independence from the Koch Brothers and flew in a private plane to the Iowa State Fair, to pig out on such popular items there as bacon-wrapped hot dog dipped in a cornmeal batter. New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie told the solitary reporter, “If Walker keeps that up, maybe pretty soon he’ll fall off his Harley and make a fool of himself, and that would help me convince the voters here in the Granite State that I’m their man.”


Informed of Christie’s remark while hosting a forum in nearby Conway, Sanders smiled and said that he had rejected Donald Trump’s offer to lend him his private hairstylist.


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