July 24, 2015

POKER CREEK, ALASKA — The other day, Donald Trump poked around Laredo and lambasting the Mexican government for “dumping” troublesome Mexicans into the United States. 

Shortly afterward, Trump, the King of Narcissism, leading in the polls in the contest against Bernie Sanders, was spotted by a solitary reporter here at the northernmost border crossing between Canada and the United States.

Although only a few sleepy Canadian and American border crossing officials were listening, Trump said that he needs to keep Canada from sending its unwanted to the US, especially if they are from Québec.

“This has got to stop,” the mega-billionaire ranted. “If Canada doesn’t quit this by the time I become president, we should annex British Columbia, Alberta, and Saskatchewan, and maybe Manitoba as well. They can keep the rest.”

When an aide whispered into the birds nest atop Trump’s head that Canada, during the Vietnam War, welcomed thousands of American young men avoiding the draft, the solitary reporter asked Trump whether he had ever considered fleeing to Canada instead of seeking a medical deferment because of allegedly bad feet.

The words used by the leading exponent of Trumpism cannot be printed here.

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