WICHITA — Yesterday, Kentucky’s junior senator, Rand Paul, raised money for his presidential campaign at the Cannabis Business Summit in Denver. In the process, he became the first presidential candidate from a major party openly to court donors from the marijuana industry.
But as his private plane entered Kansas airspace on his way back to the Bluegrass State, the senator was arrested by federal marshals, who were accompanied by a solitary reporter.
“Senator,” the brash solitary reporter said, "until you unwisely extend Colorado’s Amendment 64, which legalized recreational marijuana, to all of the United States, you of all people, who represent a big-time tobacco state, should be the last politician in the country to be begging for money from the marijuana nuts.”
At this, the federal marshals clamped handcuffs on the solitary reporter.
But they also arrested the senator.
However, as soon as the Cessna 750 touched down here in Wichita, Charles Koch stormed the plane with his own private thugs, stuffed the solitary reporter in a grain elevator, liberated Paul, and cursed the federal marshals.
At last report, the senator transferred several thousand dollars of his take from the marijuana lobbyists to the presidential campaign of Sen. Bernie Sanders. “Bernie can’t win,” Paul said to our associate solitary reporter, Lewis Thompson, “but Hillary could easily win if she plays her cards right."