SEC HEADQUARTERS, WASHINGTON — Tea Party presidential candidate Ted Cruz has been caught in a scam.
At 11:30 yesterday morning, "PTG Capital Partners" disclosed in a regulatory filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission that it had offered to purchase Avon, the giant cosmetics firm, for $18.75 a share. Avon, which has been under pressure to sell itself off, had opened the day’s trading at $6.71, but it turned out that there was no PTG Capital Partners. The scam was revealed in an article in today’s New York Times by Matthew Goldstein and David Gelles.
A solitary reporter rushed to SEC headquarters, pretending to console Tea Party presidential candidate Ted Cruz, who was crumpled into a corner and sobbing.
“SR,” Cruz moaned, “I am the T of PTG. I put my life’s savings into it, hoping that, once my partners and I had bought Avon, somebody – for God's sakes, anybody! — could make me look good.”
The solitary reporter helped Cruz board a private jet which took him back to Texas.
Your solitary reporter regrets a substantive error in his post of May 13, in which he said that Colorado's senior senator, Michael Bennet, had voted with the Senate Republicans on May 12 on whether to grant the president a fast track in negotiating the Trans Pacific Partnership. Sen. Bennet voted with his Democratic colleagues in the Senate, with the exception of Sen. Tom Carper of Delaware. The solitary reporter’s error was spotted by two alert readers.