WASHINGTON — Earlier today, within five minutes of President Obama’s personally delivering his request to Congress for the Authorization for the Use of Military Force (AUMF) to continue beating the bejesus out of ISIS, the new Chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, 2008 presidential wannabe John McCain, told a solitary reporter that he will not vote for the AUMF as long as it does not contain language directing the president personally to kill Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
The president’s request calls for Congressional approval of three years of continued US combat against the worst perversion of Islam since the Siege of Vienna of 1529.
For months now, Sen. McCain has been champing at the bit for the United States to intervene militarily to overthrow the Assad regime.
Concerned, the solitary reporter rode his bicycle from McCain’s office directly to the White House, where the president told him, “SR, no worries. John is still sore that I beat him in 2008, and he’s 78 years old.”
“Now ride your bicycle back to Denver and start working for Hillary."