OBAMA'S ABSENCE FROM PARIS MARCH EXPLAINED

GREEN BAY – While many people have been wondering why President Obama was not in Paris yesterday with 40 other world leaders and 1 1/2 million other ordinary folks, a solitary reporter knew better.


The president was at Lambeau Field, enjoying the Green Bay Packers’ victory over the Dallas Cowboys. The president and the solitary reporter were seated only a few feet away from Garden State Governor Chris Christie and his party, which included Cowboys owner Jerry Jones.


Wisconsin’s most important Congressman, Paul Ryan, was also at Lambeau Field, attempting (unsuccessfully)  to “school” Christie on the improbable subject of education.


But Obama, the smartest person at Lambeau that day, threw a critical block at the assemblage of Ryan, Christie, and Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, when he did a somersault into their luxury box, saying “The best education in the world is taking place right there in front of you! Just look over there at Dez Bryant, the Cowboys' star wide receiver: the official who said he didn’t have full control of the ball in that fourth-quarter interception was wrong and most everybody knew it, especially Dez, who communicated that fact to the cameras persuasively but without punching out the offending official.”


“So you guys,” Obama continued, "since you’re all kvetching about why I’m here and not in Paris, it’s because I needed for you to see and learn from Dez.”


Totally unconvinced, Christie yelled at Obama, saying “You shoulda sent me to Paris, where I would easily get even fatter than I am now."


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