WHY "THE INTERVIEW" SHOULD WIN SEVERAL OSCARS

DENVER — Today at the Sie Film Center on Colfax Avenue here in the Mile High City, seated next to a solitary reporter, President Obama watched The Interview, the movie made by Columbia Pictures which Sony Pictures Entertainment scrubbed, then decided to try to recoup its tarnished reputation and money on by allowing it to be shown at selected independent theaters. Last week, Mr. Obama strongly criticized Sony Pictures Entertainment for nixing the release, on the ground that a dangerous, paranoid dictator who rules a small but potent East Asian country should not have the right to dictate to the American people how to get their yuks during the holiday season. The president and the solitary reporter were joined by Seth Rogen and James Franco, costars in the movie that everybody is talking about, and Dan Sterling, who wrote the script for The Interview.


Franco plays Dave Skylark in the movie. Skylark has a TV talk show in which he interviews celebrities about personal topics. Rogen plays Aaron Rapoport, Skylark’s producer. The two are recruited by the CIA to assassinate Kim, using the pretext of Kim’s granting Skylark an interview which will be broadcast around the world. The interview is arranged by an attractive North Korean official, Sook, played by Diana Bang, who seduces Rapoport, then, as she prepares to lead a truly democratic North Korea, helps the daring duo escape after taking out Kim.


“Holy Shit, SR,” the president exclaimed. “I’m really glad I browbeat Sony Pictures Entertainment into releasing this movie, and there’s no better place to watch it than right here at the Sie Film Center. It’s given me a great idea on how I can get John Brennan over there at the CIA to take out Kim Jong-un.”


The president then turned to Sterling. “Dan,” the president said, “I know you must have studied North Korea and the Boy Dictator very exhaustively. But how in the world did you know that Kim Jong-un is such a megalomaniac that he has, through his enormous propaganda apparatus, convinced all 24 million people in his kingdom that he has no butthole because he is a god?”


Convulsed in laughter, Sterling said, “Oh, Mr. President, that was the easiest part. All I had to do was look at pictures of the guy. He’s fat and paranoid and everybody in North Korea does whatever he says. Obviously, the guy doesn’t have a butthole.”


The Interview has already made $1 million in box office in the last two days and has been illegally downloaded 750,000 times.


As he left the theater with the president, the solitary reporter told Franco, Rogen, and Sterling, “You guys all deserve Oscars for this movie. Everybody should go see it."


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