FACEBOOKLAND — As the 52 incumbent and newly-elected GOP US senators convened here today in Mark Zuckerberg’s home, facing the prospect of the presumptuous Mitch McConnell becoming their Majority Leader, they gave the job instead to Tim Scott (TP-South Carolina), in a tumultuous meeting witnessed by a solitary reporter.
McConnell, the ugliest and nastiest politician ever elected in the Bluegrass State, had expected to take over the Senate after he trounced his Democratic opponent, Alison Lundergan Grimes, on Tuesday. But then, Scott, a former Charleston City Councilman, piped up.
“I don’t have the demographic gifts of Ted and Mario,” Scott said, “but I’m young and almost cute. Mitch is old and ugly, and he doesn’t like my brother Barack. I should get the job.”
As an apoplectic McConnell unleashed California Chrome, I’ll Have Another, and Animal Kingdom from Zuckerberg’s stable, in an obvious move to trample Scott, Texas’ senior senator, John Cornyn, who has been McConnell’s right-hand man in the current Congress, pointed out that Republicans and Tea Party politicians will be running against Hillary Clinton in 2016 and that the demographics in Texas and in other localities in the United States are changing.
At the White House, President Obama called Scott to congratulate him on his appointment. “Come on by for a beer summit some time,” the president said.