DENVER — After The Denver Post endorsed Walker Stapleton on Tuesday for a second term as State Treasurer, Ryan Call, State GOP Chairman, began sweating bullets, as closely observed by a solitary reporter.
In its unpersuasive endorsement, the Post noted that Stapleton’s opponent, former Congresswoman Betsy Markey, has lambasted Stapleton for not showing up for work, as revealed by a close examination of key-card records maintained at the State Capitol, which show conclusively that Stapleton rarely comes to the Capitol.
“Walker is just biding his time ’til he can run for Governor,” Markey, a Democrat with extensive experience in the executive and legislative branches of government, has been saying repeatedly on the campaign trail. “He says his big issue is trying to do something about the Public Employees Retirement Association — our state employee retirement system — but he’s only attended a few of PERA’s meetings.”
Frantic, Call arranged for Stapleton to be escorted to and from his office by a private security detail. As of press time, the identity of the security firm is a closely guarded secret, but our associate solitary reporter, Lewis Thompson, thinks it may be Blackwater.
Stapleton is a cousin of George W. Bush, George Herbert Walker Bush, Jeb Bush, and George P. Bush, Jeb’s son. George P. Bush is running for Texas Land Commissioner. Our associate solitary reporter in Texas, Patsy Malin, tells us that once George P. is elected, he intends to set aside 2,016 acres of state land for a new headquarters of the Texas GOP, to make it easier for Rick Perry to launch his presidential campaign.