DENVER — At a private fundraiser recently on behalf of Colorado’s embattled senior senator, Mark Udall, in Denver’s newly glorified Union Station, Hillary Clinton, with a solitary reporter at her side, announced that in the afternoon, instead of going to Las Vegas to headline a gigantic fundraiser on behalf of the University of Nevada at Las Vegas, she would be escorting Congressman Cory Gardner, Udall’s opponent, to Gardner’s hometown of Yuma, Colorado, to exile on the Eastern Plains.

Yuma, 142 miles from Denver, is the County Seat of Yuma County (population 10,043), whose voters in 2013 voted for secession from the Centennial State.

Clinton also announced that she is taking with her, on the train to Yuma, the entire editorial board of the Denver Post, which, on Friday, endorsed Gardner. As of press time, Gardner, a member of the Tea Party, is ahead in the polls. “The good Democrats of Metro Denver are all canceling their subscriptions to the Denver Post because of its endorsement of Gardner,” Clinton said, “so Yuma is just the place for the editorial board to live, at least until they come to their senses."

“Congressman Gardner, whom I will never forgive for defeating my close personal friend Betsy Markey in 2010,” Clinton continued, “originally supported the so-called Personhood Amendment, which would make a woman’s decision to terminate a pregnancy a crime. The Personhood Amendment has already been defeated twice here in the Centennial State.”

As Udall waved goodbye to Clinton and the Post’s editorial board, Congresswoman Diana DeGette, the Dean of the Colorado Congressional Delegation, told the solitary reporter, “Gardner is so loony, some of us have even wondered whether he is a person."

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