IRS COMMISSIONER TO ADJUDICATE BOEHNER v. OBAMA

WASHINGTON — Congressman Darrell Issa (R.-California), the Chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, wants IRS Commissioner John Koskinen’s scalp.

 

Only trouble is, Issa, the wealthiest member of Congress with a net worth of $450 million, can’t have it, because Koskinen, a former president of the US Soccer Foundation, has been bald for quite some time now.

 

According to a solitary reporter, Issa v. Koskinen, a high-stakes television political drama focusing on Lois Lerner’s valiant efforts to expose the Tea Party’s fraudulent efforts to qualify for tax-exempt status, was purchased by Aereo, Inc., shortly before the Supreme Court ruled against Aereo in its attempt to steal live streams of over-the-air television on Internet-connected devices.

 

Issa would like to see all the emails between Lerner and Koskinen, especially the ones which somebody sent to Pluto.

 

The Republicans are so desperate to make this an issue in the midterm elections that Congressman Louie Gohmert (TP-Texas) has offered a one million dollar bounty to anyone who can find  the missing emails.

 

Given that the GOP has stymied any positive developments in the House, earlier today, House Speaker John Boehner announced that he will soon file suit against President Barack Obama.

 

As our associate solitary reporters in the Nation’s Capital scurried all over Capitol Hill, nobody could quite figure out why Boehner would pull such stunt in the run-up to the November elections,  as a result of which Boehner will be forced to turn over his gavel as Speaker to Nancy Pelosi in January.

 

But eventually, our associate solitary reporters, Ken Colburn and Jim Leonard, both Washington veterans, figured it out.

 

DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D.-Florida) told Colburn that a secret panel of federal judges has appointed Koskinen to adjudicate Boehner v. Obama.

 

Koskinen, a graduate of Yale Law School, a former Deputy Mayor of the District of Columbia, a former Deputy Director of the Office of Management and Budget, and the former Interim CEO of Freddie Mac, told Leonard that he enjoys paying his taxes.

 

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