WASHINGTON — Earlier today, President Obama, accompanied by his Chief of Staff, Dennis McDonough, walked to a Starbucks one block away from his home. He was not accompanied by a solitary reporter, but he did smile and wave to surprised tourists, saying “The bear is loose!”


In Long Beach, a spokesman for the 3,000 member Specialty Coffee Association of America complained mightily that the president is slighting independent coffee shops. “The president should know better,” the spokesman said. “Starbucks is based in Seattle, and Washington is a blue state. What does the president propose to do to encourage more people to visit independent coffee shops in Idaho, for example?”


PETA’s president, Ingrid Newkirk, expressed concern that the president might want to shoot a bear right there on Pennsylvania Avenue. But Press Secretary Josh Earnest said that he had just spoken with G. Wayne Clough, the Secretary of the Smithsonian Institution, which operates the National Zoo. “Wayne promised me that he wouldn’t let any grizzlies out today,” Earnest said, “but he did say that he has plans in place to let one out pretty soon to pay a personal visit to Mitch McConnell."


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