DENVER — Denver Archbishop Samuel Aquila has issued an interesting challenge to President Obama. The Archbishop’s challenge was not published in The Denver Catholic Register, a publication which a solitary reporter never reads.
First, some factual background. On New Year’s Eve, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor granted a temporary injunction to The Little Sisters of the Poor, a Catholic order of nuns here in Denver who provide housing for the poverty-stricken aged and infirm. The Little Sisters object to a provision in the Affordable Care Act requiring that contraceptives be made available to all employees, including employees of faith-based organizations.
Yesterday, the nine-member Supreme Court, according to an Associated Press article published in today’s Denver Post, “offered” to the nuns an extension of Sotomayor's order pending the completion of litigation now pending in the Denver-based United States Court Of Appeals for the 10th Circuit.
So much for the facts.
“Mr. President,” Aquila said, “meet me at Sports Authority Field at Mile High, so we can fight this out, mano a mano, in full view of the American people. My friends at Fox News have assured me that they will cover every moment of our polite competition, so long as no other media are allowed to bring cameras into the stadium.”
“My close personal friend, Denver Broncos owner Pat Bowlen, a lifelong Catholic, will be there cheering me on."
“My team will consist of the Little Sisters, and they are much more politically powerful than any of the Denver Broncos,” Aquila continued. “And I will allow you to have Eric Holder and a few others from your lawyered-up team with you.”
Bemused, Obama smiled, but politely insisted that superstar Peyton Manning, a Republican, quarterback his team.
The matter was swiftly adjudicated by the Colorado Supreme Court in favor of Manning and the president. In the run-up to the Super Bowl, the Court is now displaying four oversize Go Broncos banners on the pillars outside the Colorado Judicial Center, so that all the world knows that the Court will rule fairly as well as decisively in favor of their Denver Broncos, anytime anybody sues the AFC Championship team.