MILE HIGH STADIUM, DENVER — President Obama made a surprise visit to Denver yesterday, chronicled by a solitary reporter.
The occasion was a massive protest against the District of Columbia Redskins. The organizer of the ferocious picketing was longtime Native American activist Glenn Morris, articulating himself very clearly through a bullhorn, saying “Every time I see their logo, I think I'm being scalped.”
Obama, desperate to divert attention from the failed rollout of Obamacare, and hoping to help Democratic Sen. Mark Udall win reelection next year, decided that a visit to Colorado was not only advisable but necessary. So he and Morris and Iliff School of Theology Professor Tink Tinker, an Osage, locked arms and forced the game to be delayed for fifteen minutes.
In the end zone, however, they were shouted down by two newly elected Republican State Senators, George Rivera from Pueblo and Bernie Herpin from Colorado Springs. These two prize specimens of GOP sagacity were elected when two Democratic State Senators, Angela Giron and Senate President John Morris, were recalled on September 10 at the insistence of the Gun Lovers Association of Colorado for supporting sensible gun control legislation.
Less importantly, the sometimes fabled Denver Broncos managed to defeat their opponent, even though the solitary reporter was denied admission to the stadium for being a Democrat, especially after he suggested to 'Skins Coach Mike Shanahan that his team be renamed The Washington Pigs in honor of the thousands of lobbyists who swarm around the Nation's Capital and the White House every day.