LaPIERRE RELOCATES TO WASHINGTON NAVY YARD

WASHINGTON — The NRA's top gun, Wayne LaPierre, is a man always on the move, as chronicled by a solitary reporter.

 

After the NRA helped a small but highly organized group of gun lovers to recall two highly regarded Democratic state legislators in Colorado, including State Senator Angela Giron, because they voted for sensible gun control legislation, LaPierre moved the NRA's headquarters from suburban Virginia to Colorado (see our post of 9/11/13).

 

“A lot of my gun-toting buddies thought I was crazy,” LaPierre explained to George Rivera, a Republican who was elected in the recall to replace Giron. “Why would I want to be that far from my power base?”

 

But immediately after a seriously mentally ill Navy contractor slaughtered twelve people with a sawed-off shotgun at the Washington Navy Yard on Monday, LaPierre easily figured out a way to get back to Washington. “Why should I have to commute from Colorado to Washington to blackmail Congress, when I can simply take over Building 197 at the Washington Navy Yard and use that as my headquarters?”

 

When Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius tried to remind LaPierre that the shooters in these unprovoked massacres are always seriously mentally ill, LaPierre promptly said, “The Second Amendment protects crazy people in their right to shoot sane people. Now get out of my way so I can move into our glorious, star-studded offices at the Washington Navy Yard. I'll be even closer to the Capitol than I was in faraway Fairfax, across the Potomac.”

 

Having been thus offended, Sebelius thought briefly about resigning and returning to her native Kansas, but then realized that the NRA is active there as well.

 

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