THE VATICAN — Moments ago, from his papal residence, Pope Francis watched Jesse Jackson Jr., bound for prison in Montgomery, Alabama, being harassed by numerous reporters outside the federal courthouse in Chicago, where he was sentenced to thirty months in prison for converting campaign funds to his personal use to support lavish personal spending.
After being hounded unmercifully by the media, former Congressman Jackson said, "I still believe in the power of forgiveness. I believe in the power of redemption. I still believe in the Resurrection. Today I manned up and tried to accept responsibility for the error of my ways," he said before climbing into a waiting vehicle.
Francis, however, was shocked that in the main article at CNN.com, Jackson's reference to the Resurrection was deleted.
In great haste, the Pope tweeted a solitary reporter, desperately wanting to know whether the former Congressman is Catholic.
“No, Your Holiness,” the solitary reporter said. “But since both you and he believe in the Resurrection, he might appreciate it if you would pay him a papal visit down there in red-hot Alabama.”
At the Vatican, Cardinal J. Francis Stafford, a former Archbishop of Denver, and former Major Penitentiary of the Apostolic Penitentiary [sic! -- Google It!] from 2003 to 2009 here at the Vatican, promptly told the Pope to pay no attention to the solitary reporter. “He's a Unitarian and therefore a total heretic,” Stafford told Francis.