WHY ERIC HOLDER IS NOT IN ISRAEL

JERUSALEM — Yesterday, one day after Attorney General Eric Holder informed the American Bar Association that, in his sole, unfettered discretion, he will release all felons in his custody and control who have ever smoked marijuana, Sen. Rand Paul (TP-Kentucky) hauled Holder in front of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and told Holder, not to go to Hell, but to go to Israel.


This, after Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu released hundreds of Palestinian prisoners from Israeli prisons, under strict orders from Secretary of State John Kerry.


“Mr. Attorney General,” Paul said, “I agree wholeheartedly with you that marijuana smokers should not rot in federal prisons.”


“That said, because I know damn well that you are going to help your buddy Joe Biden get elected president, even though I am entitled to that job, my Libertarian and Tea Party buddies have made arrangements for ICE to send you straight to Tel Aviv, so you can learn first-hand what it's like to be a prisoner in an Israeli prison.”


At which point Holder immediately fell on his sword.


Elsewhere, in Boston, “White Man” Bulger blew a kiss to all twelve of the jurors who are sending him to prison for the rest of his life, for not sending him to an Israeli prison. “The only word I know in Arabic,”  James Joseph 'Whitey' Bulger Jr. said, “is the word they invented: assassin.”



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