WASHINGTON — After the IRS issued a  press release stating that it had complied with the Internal Revenue Code by examining the bona fides of applications for designation as tax-exempt 501(c) (3) charities, including organizations which advocate for the abolition of the income tax, Senators Rand Paul (T.P.-Kentucky) and Mitch McConnell (R.-Kentucky) demanded that the IRS pay reparations to all Tea Party organizations.

“Nothing will satisfy us,” Sen. Paul said in an e-mail to a solitary reporter, “until the IRS pays, not only me, but all Tea Party affiliates, until all the revenues collected by the IRS are dispersed to the Tea Party.”

“After that,” Sen. Paul continued, “we'll just abolish the IRS. It's not needed anymore.”

“That way, we in the Tea Party will have a tremendous advantage as we keep up our efforts to bring the government down.”

Scratching his head in amazement, the solitary reporter wondered whether Paul and McConnell plan to lead a movement to secede Kentucky from the United States.

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said. “Those guys are both horses' asses. They should go back to Kentucky and stay there and breed horses. That way, they can content themselves by collecting the emissions from their horses.”

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