THE WHITE HOUSE — Yesterday, President Obama, flush with enthusiasm as he fired up his Democratic troops at the conclusion of the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, proclaimed a peace dividend.
According to the president, the peace dividend will begin on January 1, 2015, after all American military personnel leave Afghanistan.
In an exclusive online interview with a solitary reporter, the president acknowledged that he knows full well that the Taliban will take over Afghanistan the following day.
“SR, I don't give a hoot about that,” Obama explained. “What I do care about, is defeating the author of RomneyCare. Given that priority, I had to tell my still extremely loyal, partisan fans down there in Charlotte that once I pull our troops out of Afghanistan, I'm going to turn guns into roses, so to speak, to build highways, schools, and pay teachers what they deserve, especially if their name is Dr. Jill Biden.”
“Now, SR, you and I know full well that there is no such thing as a peace dividend. It didn't work at the end of the Cold War, as promised by Bush One, and it won't work in 2015.”
“Now go back to Denver and send me a lot of money for my reelection campaign.”
“Colorado is a battleground state, so start marching!”